I recently read a blog post about choosing to be allies or neutrals rather than adversaries. (Read it here.)

It made me think about how often I chose to be an adversary for much of my life. I was the person who wanted to be the best, often at the expense of any lasting relationships I might have formed by helping someone else to be the best instead. While I might never have taken a step that would undercut someone purposefully, neither did I ever step back to let another person have the spotlight for a while. When goals were achieved, I was the one responsible for it. At the same time, when failure occurred, I owned up to that as well. However, I don’t think the responsibility for the failures came anywhere close to balancing the limelight I might have pushed people out of.

I got the attention I was after. I was the favorite student who got the preferential treatment when assignments were handed out. I was the favorite employee, who got the best schedules.

Today, I find myself playing more of a supporting role when I can. Perhaps being a parent has helped me to learn that the true joy in life comes from getting other people to be decent, functioning members of society. When Hayden draws a picture for a thank you card, I might be the one to makes sure it gets the proper postage for the USPS, but he’s the one to bring a smile to someone’s face. When Gabe puts away one toy, I might have put away 50 in the same amount of time, but he still gets the applause from both Kris and myself.

The recent work on the budgets across the departments of my workplace has been a good example, too. But at the same time, I know that I am getting some of the credit for how it’s going, too. (The budget might be very late in the scheme of being a useful tool in the business world for this fiscal year, but at the same time, it is more detailed, cohesive and complex than any budget before its time for this organization… so once it is in place, it will be a useful tool.)

Is my willingness to let others have a bit more control rewarding me by still giving me the credit for the work that has been accomplished? Or is it simply that I found the mentor I have always wanted, one who realizes that all the parts are key when it comes to the final product of the business puzzle?

I think it likely that in order to be a true ally or even a neutral for those around you, the proper mentor must also play a pivotal part in the scene. If a manager chooses to only reward those who seem to have done 99% of the work, that 1% will eventually go undone. And the towers will fall.

So, be it in the workplace, the home, the volunteering you may do, please be the mentor who appreciates the allies and the neutrals. We won’t survive without you.

We’ve recently purchased a new home, and have begun the seemingly never ending task of moving in. (We’re moving all of our small stuff over little by little, and the movers are hired for next weekend to bring the furniture.)

Hopefully by the end of next weekend, we’ll be in fully, with things like beds, a washing machine, and chairs that don’t have the ability to fold up. I can’t wait. Kris and I have been sleeping on a futon mattress (sans the frame) for the past week, and I’m too old for that. Given that he’s almost, gasp, thirty, I can’t imagine how he feels.

There are certainly issues, as every new home purchaser knows, but we’ll work through them all, eventually. Issue one: a squirrel came in through the chimney about a week before we signed papers. The beautiful woodwork around the windows? The victim of the squirrel’s mad wish to escape. But, we have a check made out to us and to the window repair company, replacement windows on order and a new cap on the chimney.

Issue two: The boy’s bathroom toilet isn’t running properly. Now, I can repair a toilet flush and fill valve, but I need to be able to turn the toilet’s water off first. Not so easy with this one. We can turn the valve both ways until it will go no further, but the water never actually stops the dripping. Hmm… we’ve considered shutting water off for the whole house in order to accomplish this home repair, but I’m not that sure of my plumbing capabilities. Given that I want a new faucet installed in the kitchen, too, maybe it will just wait until we have a house guest with more plumbing experience than I, or will hire someone to do it for us.

But, we’re getting a guest room again, so you know, if you have the plumbing experience, and want a few home cooked meals, give us a call. We’ll put you up for a few nights, buy supplies, and love you very much if you want to come help out.

Oh, and we LOVE Ikea. And I’m sure they’ve loved us for the past couple of weeks. I’m getting my library set up, and I have a wall of shelves now, with a corner unit, too. I think my collection is going to look dismal now, though, with so much room available to it… Luckily Half Price Books just sent out coupons for the coming week.

We have internet and phone (though the phone company decided to change our phone number instead of simply changing our service location, as I requested). So hopefully, we’ll be in better touch now.

Any fan of Enchantment will love these stories. OSC weaves the tales beautifully, giving some fresh life to some timeless themes. Pursuits of happiness (in both emotional and mental loves), understanding what true happiness is, and learning that pain is a part of all life are themes that are touched upon in each story.

Perhaps my favorite story is “The Princess and the Bear” a story of a life long love that doesn’t play out as such until the deathbed of one of the lovers. Not all of the stories are perfection, though, as I don’t believe this is possible in any collection. (”A Cross-Country Trip to Kill Richard Nixon” for example, was less than stellar when paired with the rest of the book.)

I want to make sure everyone sees this achingly beautiful short film.

Also, I’m completely in love with this song. It’s personal, bluesy and snarky. I need more of this