One of my (many) quirks is that I love wearing my orange sweater on Halloween. I like wearing it in general, but I LOVE it on October 31. So, a couple of days ago, I went in search of it. Trips to my side of the closet can be overwhelming experiences, so I like to give myself some time to accomplish a task such as finding a specific article of clothing.

I couldn’t find it. Still can’t. I have no idea what happened, as there is no way I would have given this sweater to charity, and I know that I haven’t worn it this season. I generally finish all of the dirty loads of laundry at least a few times a year, so it isn’t in a hamper somewhere.

There was much bereavement (though no tears, I am surprised to say) over this sweater. It doesn’t have sentimental value attached to it (other than it was one of my favorite Goodwill finds ever). It didn’t even fit perfectly anymore. I’ve put on a few pounds since my high school days. But… it was a mostly flattering cut, in a color of my favorite fall leaves, and it was part of a fall tradition for me. That, and my boss’ favorite color is orange, and you can get away with a lot if you wear it.

So, even though I knew this sweater could never be replaced, it was time to start looking for a stand-in, if nothing else. I have some dark chocolate pants that demand an orange top be paired with them. (They get along okay with ivory tops, but the chemistry just isn’t there.) I couldn’t go trick or treating with the boys tonight and not be decked out for the occasion, and my black cloak is in storage. There will be times in the future when I need to ask a favor of the boss. So I started my online shopping.

Damn, I’m cheap.

I’m not willing to shell out $50 to $100 on a sweater. I’m especially not willing to do so if I haven’t been able to try it on and ensure that the orange is the right shade without needing to rely on a swatch on a computer screen. I tried the sites of the stores I frequent in the off-line world as well. Those gave me less than squat. Orange sweaters must not jump off the shelves like they should in the fall.

I was at a loss… and tempted to shell out some money on what I thought was my best bet for a new orange sweater.

Then, my genius of a husband reminded me that I could try Gabriel Brothers first. So I fed Gabe and we headed out. Out of seven orange tops I tried on, I came home with three. I paid less for three than I would have for half of one online.

How much would you like to wager I walk into my closet and my original sweater is there, in plain sight?

Happy Halloween. I’ll be sure to update with pictures and text of our 1.5 hours of suburban adventure this evening. If I’m not too busy playing the Halloween only zombies matches on Halo 3.

In the meantime, here’s some interesting things from the world of awesome music.

Paste Magazine has taken a page out of
Radiohead’s book and adopted a pay-what-you-like ($1 minimum) subscription model.
I went ahead and signed up as each magazine comes with a cd with tracks from great artists as well some new-up and-comers.

From their overview:

Each issue includes a CD with at least 20 handpicked new songs from acclaimed artists like Coldplay, Danger Doom, Fiona Apple, Death Cab for Cutie, Elvis Costello, Norah Jones, Flaming Lips, Ryan Adams and Van Morrison as well as talented up-and-comers who deserve the spotlight. Think of it as a glorified mix tape from your friends at Paste.

I couldn’t pass that up.

In other music news, LaLa, as made internet famous by rescuing indie rock radio bastion WOXY.com, will soon be releasing their completely free and completely legal music service.
They will allow you to stream any track available for free and will offer the ability to purchase downloadable versions or cds. They’ve already got 2 of the 4 major labels signed on and are in negotiations with the other 2. Here’s hoping they get a number of indie labels as well!

Oh, also if you ever wanted a Robin Sparkles concert tour shirt, you should check this out.

Remember a post from not so long ago about staying home, what was best for me, when I was needed most?

Yeah, scratch it.

I went in for a meeting today, and while I didn’t get my original requests for part time work for a few months (I wasn’t really expecting them), I did agree to go back to the job on January 2nd.

In the time that I have been home, especially with both boys on Monday, I decided that I do need to work to keep my sanity. I need something more than daytime television to engage me (I’ve been reading, but with the feeding trials, the television is much more approachable during meals than a book is). I look forward to having a lunch break again (and I have made myself promise that my lunch break will not be used as frequently as it had been in order to do household errands). And when adults whine to me, at least they don’t tend to use the nasal tones a three-year old does.

I love my boys dearly, but I also know that I will be a calmer mother and woman if I get breaks. The way we were talking, it wasn’t feeling like the breaks would be coming to me as much as they would have been needed. At the office, I can shut my door and breath if I need to. Kris is good about giving me breaks when I ask for them, but I don’t ask often enough.

The unpaid leave is extended about a week and a half. I’m getting a 15% raise, and I have the ability to do condensed weeks once a month without using any of my vacation days. (I can do 4 ten hour days and take a day off for doctors’ appointments and such.) Changes in the company (outside of my earnings) will be for the better, I think. Plus, if the growth of the company comes even close to the desired growth, it will be an outstanding resume builder.

In the (less than) two years since I started in the Accounting field, I have increased my wages by 62%. Think I can keep it up?

I’ve recently noticed how the lines I’ve used that were sure to win the adoration of my spouse have changed over the years.

From before we were married:
   “Would you like to engage in some underage drinking?”

To after we were married:
   “I bought you a new book.”

To after our first child was born:
   “I vacuumed the house.”

To after our second child was born:
   “Good morning, I made lots of coffee”

I came across an excellent concept, thanks to Parent Hacks.

Chore Wars is a user-defined game. The administrator of the group sets up chores that need to be done on a regular basis (or a list of things that need to be completed for a special event), along with “treasures,” “monsters,” and experience. The chores are given different types of experience, for what it takes to complete them. While there isn’t any way to set up a store within the game, there is a suggestion that the family can create their own rules for what the gold and treasures can be traded in for, be it freedom from a hated chore or getting to choose the dessert for a dinner, etc.

This site can help bring some fun into chores, and will also help to ensure that each family member is doing their fair share. Granted, there is a bit of work involved in setting the game up, but I’m taking our adventures slowly. So far we only have three choreventures listed, but as I do a chore, I’m hoping it will make me create it within the game, too.

I have set up the WithaKs, along with the boys, just in case the freeness of the site goes away other than for grandfathered members. (You can already pay a one time fee of $10 to get an ad-free site along with more permanent history.)

It has been a rollercoaster for me the past couple of days, so much so that I am wondering again if I have a slight mood swing disorder. Or maybe I’m just a red-headed stepchild.

Home with Gabe has been fantastic. I love being a mommy, even though I’m not quite at the comfort stage I was with Hayden by this time. Feeding is still hitting some rough patches, but we’re getting better at it. He is so intent on learning about the world. I love watching his eyes just look around a room. He sleeps pretty well, and I was even able to get a nap in my own bed yesterday.

Kris and I decided that it might be time to take the house off the market. What with me not having a job that I’m guaranteed to go back to after maternity leave, and life up in the air about where we want to be… I know it’s the right choice for us. It doesn’t mean that I’m all that happy about it, though. I’m getting very tired of this place. There are a lot of things that I would love to see happen to the house, but that takes a fair amount of money, too. Painting (most of which we could do ourselves), new floors, window repair, landscaping of our small personal areas… Plus, dealing with the Homeowner’s Association and Management Company can be a total pain. Bright sides? There’s a leak in our roof, and that’s their problem. And I won’t have a pressure to keep the house looking like a show room. (I was bad at that, but I was trying.)

Hayden keeps asking me if I’m going to work. It’s a tough reminder that I’m not the same mommy. (This is not to say I’m not as good at being a mommy when I stay at home… just that I am a different person in my son’s eyes now.) Hayden will be moving to a 3 day a week daycare schedule. Maybe that’s when we’ll explain that mommy’s new job is to stay home for a while to take care of Gabe and Hayden.

This video really makes me want to at some point in my life dress up Godzilla-style and wreck a tiny metropolis.

There’s no way I’m alone in this. I’m sure there’s a viable market here.

Various people can put on monster suits and battle out for domination of scale models of popular cities. It’ll be the new lazer tag!

As a bonus, anyone not involved in the current game can drop a few quarters and remote control what consists of the human army, which basically consists of NERF missiles.

I honestly don’t know exactly how I feel other than a bit relieved that the end is within sight, even if I’m not at it yet. When I handed the letter of resignation off (to HR, as the owner left while I was discussing baby stats for about the tenth time), I was able to keep my eyes dry - for the most part… after all, I am still Brianna. I liked the job and a huge majority of the people I worked with. It was a terrific opportunity for me; of that, I am well aware. But co-workers you can eat lunch with without going insane and chances aren’t all there is to job satisfaction.

I don’t know if I’m expecting a call or not.

If I get a call, I am willing to negotiate. I’m just done being pushed.

If I don’t get a call, then the world will go on without a secondary paycheck for a little while. And then I’m definitely done being pushed.

The gents at Video Jug have put together a guide on how to survive the impending zombie apocalypse.

Granted, it’s skewed towards the British, but substitute baseball bat for cricket bat and you’re set.

Also, don’t forget to hack your stairs apart!

I try very hard to not participate in this debate normally, but I frequent a board where it is vicious. I haven’t delved into the issue there, but it has gotten me to thinking, especially given my current work situation. I have now been on both sides, and to be honest, I have no idea which I prefer. Granted, I have been on the SAHM side for the infancy of my children, and for the beginning stages of toddlerhood I was on the Working Mom side. These two periods are different. Of that, I am sure.

What it boils down to for me, is what will make the woman happiest with the choices she has made at the end of her life? For me, I think I will need to know that I gave my all to my children when the depended on me most, which I define as infancy. That is not to say that I am not and will not be a fully involved parent when my sons are on the little league teams, when they are figuring out which girl to ask to their first dance or it would be better to go stag, when they are preparing college entrance essays, when they are watching their bride (or groom) walk down the aisle. It is to say, though, that at those points in my life, and theirs, it is likely that I will need to be able to define myself as more than a mother.

For now, I need and want to define myself as a mother foremost against any other definitions. (I will be a wife, a friend, a reader, a writer, a cook, a daughter and exhausted for every second of my life. Those definitions aren’t going anywhere, but some definitions can certainly be extricated from my current rolodex of Briannas.)